Pun is a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.
1. A man was severely hurt as a pile of books fell on him in the library. Apparently, he only has his shelf to blame.
2. As I struggled in the class with a half pencil, my teacher looked at me and said, "Writing with a broken pencil is pointless, my child."
3. The comma said, "I think we should slow down for a while." The full stop replied, "We'd rather just stop right now!"
4. Did you know, seven days without a pun can make one weak?
5. My friend said he is terrific friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, but he doesn't know Y.
6. My sister said, "I stayed up the whole night to see where the sun went, then it finally dawned on me." She's great with her grammar for sure.
7. My teacher always says, "Double negatives are a big no-no."
8. My teacher avoids cliches like the plague!
9. When in class, my teacher called me and said, "Name 2 pronouns." Alarmed, I said, "Who, me?"
10. When my teacher asked what I want to do during the vacation, I said, "Go to Italy, Rome around and pasta time." I am one of her favorite students now.
11. At night, an owl said, "Whom" instead of who, and my father exclaimed, "Now, that's a classy owl right there."
If you like puns, post them in the commentary section below.
1.Why can’t you starve in the desert? – Because of all the sand which is there.
ReplyDelete2. What’s the difference between a schoolmaster and an engine-driver?
— One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
3. Why did they hang that picture?
-Perhaps they couldn’t find the artist
4. If you don’y marry me, Jane, I’ll hang myself on a tree in front of your house!
-Oh, Johnny, don’t. you know my father hates young men hanging about the house.
5. You were lying all the time.
-No, I lay on the bed only yesterday.
1.You’re becoming a vegetarian? I think that’s a big missed steak.
ReplyDelete2.I took a picture of a field of wheat. It was grainy.
3. I’d ask my teddy bear if he’s hungry, but he’s stuffed.
4.The grape didn’t say much when he got stepped on. He just let out a little wine.
5. When you dream in color, is it a pigment of your imagination?
6. To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
7. Jill broke her finger today. On the other hand she was completely fine.
8. His theory on inertia never seemed to gain momentum.
9. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
10.I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
11. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
12.Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.
13.Once you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
14. My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
15.I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.
16.I wanted to buy a camouflage shirt, but I didn’t see one.
17. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
18. What do you call a piece of toast at the zoo? Bread in captivity.
19. My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador.
20. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
1 - The tallest building in town is the library — it has thousands of stories!
ReplyDelete2- Why do amphibians take the bus? Because their cars are always getting toad.
3- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He’s all right now.
4- I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
5-Have you ever eaten a clock? It’s very time consuming
6-When a woman loses her husband, she pines for a second.
7- The will of a living daughter is curbed by the will of a dead father.
8- “Not on thy sole, but on thy soul.” (Shakespeare)
1. «Why did they hang that picture?»
ReplyDelete«Perhaps they couldn’t find the artist.»
2. Why can’t you starve in the desert? – Because of all the sand which is there.
3.You can’t just fire people.
Пахрудинова Аиша
ReplyDelete1. — Jack, boss has fired me! — I'll call 911.
2. There are no unbearable people, there are just narrow doors.
3. – What do a boy with a tin, whose name is Nick, and a cigarette have in common?
– Nick-o-tin.
4. I've decided to sell my Hoover... it was just collecting dust.
5. I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now.
6. He drow his expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends.
7. What are windmills’ favorite genre of music? They’re big metal fans.
8. You can’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
9. No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
10. My leaf blower doesn’t work, it just sucks.
1. I love whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
ReplyDelete2. Did you hear about the silk worm race? It ended in a tie.
4.. Please don’t make my funeral too early. I’m not really a mourning person.
3. I got fired from the calendar factory, just for taking a day off.
5. Clones are people two.
Approach people with a ruler and start measuring their face. If they ask, say you're a hypocrite.
ReplyDeleteThe bullet that hit the school teacher came out and went in as it should.
Would it be difficult for you to make me a coffee with foam?
- Yes, just spit.